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09:26am 30/12/2006
mood: chipper
Oh dear. It looks like LJ's hoping for a very...eventful 2007 for me.
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02:52pm 25/12/2006
mood: geeky
I got mono and the common cold for Christmas :-D
How to Make Garfield 200% Better   
08:40pm 04/04/2006
  Seriously, guys. I have the answer.
Just take out all of Garfield's text. Like so:



And three

All from here.
Best two hours of my life, dude.
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God's kind of a wanker   
09:14pm 09/03/2006
mood: chipper
Did you know Buddha?
if you see the Buddha, kill him.

For your daily dose of blasphemy. :-D
A very brief geeking-out   
09:42pm 06/02/2006
mood: dorky
Tonks looks like a pig. A very masculine pig.

But I'm pleased with Luna, whom I like better anyway. So :-p
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Google Video!   
08:34pm 30/01/2006
mood: geeky
Dear Google,
When we finally accept that you have officially taken over the world, may I have the honor of being in your harem?

Google video is rad. This is the first time I've checked it out since I finally have a computer that doesn't suck. But it is brilliant.
Why Macs Suck is great. And features a guy drop-kicking a Macintosh. Really, what more motivation do you need to watch? :-p
Interpretation of Fall Out Boy. Because really, you can't escape them or their song, so to get even feel free to mock them. Whee.
I don't think that Ninja Training Campis a real ninja training camp. :-p But it's very cool. My favorite's the first guy to jump through the doughnut-shaped thing? And I didn't know that people bent like that. :-p
A Biker Celebrates His Hump. :-D
And I think that the iPod Flea is a great idea.
Jesus Will Survive. ... Or not.

And that was two hours of my life wasted. Google, again, harem. Consider it, okay?
10:02am 16/01/2006
mood: giggly
Normally they're not my style, but this is the best blonde joke ever.
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08:41pm 14/01/2006
  Quick, there are two boys in this pic. Can you spot them?

Urk. Ron Weasley=Ashley Olsen, apparently. Creepy.
Web War I!   
11:49am 14/01/2006
  The eBaum wank is awesome.

Edit: Two more. (eBWS.com is down intermittently, but with mirrors at .net and .org. And it's brilliant and catchy. :-p)

You know what would be great? If all the sites involved just simultaneously exploded. That'd rock.

*mostly posted to show off new wanky icon, courtesy FW*
10:38pm 01/01/2006
mood: chipper
We get six icons now. Whee. Is this new? Am I a ditz and miss it? I must figure out what I'm going to do with the other three. Hm.

And I got a new comp? (Which I think was actually hand-me-down but that's okay because it's rad.) And now sims is fucking awesome. I meant to stop by and tell y'all that I got Uni for Christmas so I'll see you in a couple months. But now? My sims actually works. I can navigate and play in a timely manner and go downtown and everything.
So make that a couple of years. :-D

*off to play sims like a complete nerd - but a satisfied one!*
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Reading recs   
09:15am 24/12/2005
mood: relaxed
Hello darlings. Been catching up on my ficcing (if only to avoid the real reading that I've got to do. Blah.) and here they are. Most taken from very long rec lists, which is why most of them aren't very recent. But all very very good.

Reclamation, by sam_storyteller. (PG, gen, Tom) Excellent excellent story. It's AU, which normally scares me off because they're both broad and irrelevant, but this one focuses down to the single turning point and then blossoms out from there. Tom's a teacher at Hogwarts and still creepily, offputtingly inhuman. It's. Mm, I love it.

The Amazing Bust of Nymphadora Tonks by thistlerose. (PG, gen, Tonks) Written in the Vagina Monologues style, this is about a thirteen-year-old Tonks struggling with her body. Mostly her boobs. Funny, with a little bit more underneath.

Oral Sex by Isis (PG-13 or R, Sirius/Severus) This pairing does nothing for me, but with a very positive rec I read it anyway and I'm so glad I did. Sirius and Severus trading insults and getting nicely inebriated. Nothing better.

They Just Don't by JMA (R, Weasleycest and noncon) Sorry for the cached version but it's all that I could find. Ron's pissed about all the incest jokes around the school. But his memory has a tendency to deceive him. Takes the typical Weasleycest story and flips it all around.

Sight for Sore Eyes by nopejr. (PG-13, Hermione/Trelawney). Hermione, having snuck away for a quick coffee, was somewhat surprised to find Sybill Trelawney in the middle of the staff room, wearing only a pair of large, dangling, glittery earrings and loudly proclaiming "Behold my Inner Eye!" This is reason enough to read it. :-D

The Worst Happiest Day of His Life by amanuensis1 (NC-17, Draco/Harry) An arcane law forces the boys' marriage. They're not happy, but at least it's a passionate relationship.

The Challenge by Cybele (NC-17, Snape/Harry) “Love, Mr Potter,” Snape breathed. Harry’s body wanted to tremble. “Is telling a man he’s not pretty while stroking his face with a reverent touch.” A SS/HP story of the "lock them up together until they fall in love" variety but it's so much better than that. The relationship they have is just electric and excellent.

Cursed Arifacts for Sale by icarusancalion. (PG, Severus/Harry established relationship) This one is just fun. And brings back memories of combing garage sales and swapmeets with my father in my youth. Severus loves buying charmed artifacts, and Harry exasperatedly goes along with it.

Mm, and that's the end of. Merry Christmas, y'all.
10:21pm 19/12/2005
mood: silly
Ground Rules: The first player of this "game" starts with the topic "5 Weird Habits of Yours" and people who get tagged need to write an LJ entry about their 5 quirky habits as well as state this rule clearly. In the end, you need to choose the next 5 people to be tagged and list their names.

I never get tagged. *geek grin* So here you are, disportraited.

1) I too count stairs, because it's quite functional because if I don't? When I'm going back down them I will probably not miss a step and trip and concuss myself. Nobody appreciates this, though, when they hear me go "onetwothreefourfive" under my breath while going up stairs.

2) I save all my AIM transcripts, dated and sorted neatly into folders by year and person. Whee.

3) Drinking fruit juice in the morning is weird and unnatural. I get my vitamin C, a nice big glass of it, when I'm all settled in for the night. Mm, grapefruit juice.

4) I can't possibly get to sleep unless my teddy bear, creatively named Bear, is with me and functioning as a pillow.

5) Total oral fixation. And not wussy gum or mints either, I want stuff that lasts man. Right now it's a rubbery part off a mouthpiece. Before, it's been, among other things, a metal paper holder thingy and an old leather bracelet. Yum.

And I don't think I've got enough people to tag that read my journal. *iz way lame* :-p
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Even the other nerds don't want to be seen with me   
10:39am 18/12/2005
mood: nerdy
So I watched 9 episodes of Fresh Prince last night. Hooray for Nick at Nite. And I decided Will/Carlton OTP. But you know what? There is no love for them at all on this vast internet. I even trekked over to the Pit to see. They don't even have a section for Fresh Prince. This is a massive oversight and now I'm a bit depressed. :-p
Mmm, cats   
07:47pm 15/12/2005
  So I mod over at Rate My Teachers. And people - students - are awesome, I have discovered. I'm going through the pool of ratings, the most recent one that's made me lol is "She eats Cats." That's it. I suppose it could be seen as libelous, but I'm keeping it. :-D  
The funnest Big Red Button ever   
11:09am 10/12/2005
mood: ditzy
Right here.

That's all. :-p
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The Dangers of Masturbation   
02:10pm 25/11/2005
mood: amused
I'll let this speak for itself.

"He stiffens in anticipation of coming death" is my favorite. He really can't think about anything else, can he?
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Mm, crackfics!   
08:54am 20/11/2005
mood: giddy
So I've been looking for new and creative ways to skewer my childhood this morning. After seeing the Sunday paper's Dennis the Menace, it occurred to me the possible existence of Dennis/Mr. Wilson fic. It has yet to be found but it must be out there.

In the meantime, I've read:
Gallant is Aroused; Goofus is Horny. The inimitable, infamous G/G fic, oh yes.

The Last Case of Encyclopedia Brown. No slash, just...unorthodox.

The Case of the Stumped Detective. Encyclopedia/Bugs, and I can't believe that there's not more of them. Because the sexual tension between them just oozes off the page. :-D

This is probably not meant to be homoerotic, but it so is. :-p Bert and Ernie play doctor. And this:
Ernie: "OK Bert, I won't eat crackers in my bed -- I'm going to eat crackers in YOUR bed."
"...And then we will have hot puppet sex!" "Whatever, Ernie."

Certainly there's more. And I shall find them, mwahaha. *dies*
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03:17pm 21/10/2005
mood: complacent
Glamorous Soul
61% Tastefulness, 58% Originality, 52% Deliberateness, 54% Sexiness
[Tasteful Original Deliberate Sexy]

You choose your outfits carefully according to many criteria. You don't like looking cheap, dull or random and you go to great lengths to avoid this. You are successful, too. People admire your taste and sex appeal. Many try to imitate you but not many can recreate your unique style. Sometimes, however, they find you too intimidating to approach. If you don't wear retro style yet, perhaps you should consider it. It would become greatly your sexy, mysterious self.

The opposite style from yours is Fashion Enemy [Flamboyant Conventional Random Prissy].

All the categories: Fashion Enemy Bar Cruiser Kid Next Door Sex Bomb Hippie Kid Fashion Rebel Fashion Artist Catwalk God(ess) Librarian Sporty Hottie Office Master Uptown Girl/ Boy Brainy Student Movie Star Fashionista Glamorous Soul

My test tracked 4 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:

free online dating free online dating
You scored higher than 60% on Tastefulness

free online dating free online dating
You scored higher than 81% on Originality

free online dating free online dating
You scored higher than 51% on Deliberateness

free online dating free online dating
You scored higher than 71% on Sexiness
Link: The Fashion Style Test written by mari-e on Ok Cupid, home of the 32-Type Dating Test

That's right. Sexy classy me. :-p

So I finished Othello. Now I'm reading Red Badge of Courage (ugh), Cat's Eye (yay), and Metamorphosis (yay again). And I was inspired by an earlier conversation with Jon, who's reading Freud and Nietzsche and not even trying hard to make me feel inferior. :-p So I'm gonna pick up something good and smart next.

I also want to write some hot Blackcest. I'm not cool enough to have liked Reg before HBP, but, ya know. :-P Not that anything I want to write ever gets finished - and half of the time it's because it never gets commenced. In any case. Whee, porn.

I'm becoming a bit of a music snob. Grooving on the Decemberists and the Trews recently. I found my old mp3 mixes from, mm, 98-99? Good lord. :-p Alanis and Shania and Blink 182, most of it. Just awful embarrassing stuff. I just will never be so far gone, though, that I'll refuse to let people listen to music I like because that might generate more fans, oh noes. Or that I'll tell them that my music is too obscure for them, they won't like it. I still hold a grudge from last year about that. :-p

And I could've written about this in a more timely manner, but my computer was dead for awhile. It was the most brilliant thing, too: a virus snuck in and deleted my drivers one at a time. Isn't that awesome? It's more original than a "del C:\*.*", so props to whoever decided that one. Right after I wring their neck. :-p

And I went to go see the King Tut exhibit down in LA last Sunday. Was very disappointed, Tut wasn't there and neither was his sarcophagus. A lawsuit for false advertising is pending. But all the artifacts were lovely and intricate, and it was a good time anyway. And unfortunately no cameras were allowed in. A pox upon you, museum. :-p
Geeking out!   
07:44pm 06/10/2005
mood: geeky
On everything. Thought it might be nice to post something after two weeks of silence, heh.

Reading Othello right now. Generally not happy with reading things that're meant to be seen, but. But that's not the issue. I've had a gander at study guides - "Iago is a complex character; he hates Othello for ambiguous reasons that even he cannot explain." No. No, that's not complex, that's bad writing. (Shakespeare was an amateur. :-D) No self-respecting villain wakes up in the morning and contemplates how evil he is. To have Iago just going around playing the difficulty? Suck. :-p

Have my TKD test on Wednesday. I've been rallying to double-test for green belt in addition to green stripe. I've got everything down (except the terminology, which is meant to be blown off until the night before anyway :-p). So my sole problem is... I can't do Do-San in front of anyone. Master Stevens asked me if I wanted to stick around while the class did it. With me doing good in front of a mass of black belts. I bombed the first half entirely. Oy. Then it was just me and him later and I could do it then, if he hadn't called Keith up. I've never done anything with Keith before, and he was rusty, so that threw me off. So Master Stevens's faith in me? Shot. Grr. But I do do do know my patterns. It's just that everyone's geared up enough at the test to pee their pants and it'd be several times that with a pattern I'm not confident in. But otherwise it's like "I'm double-testing, double-testing, yay for double-testing... wait a minute, no I'm not. Dammit." It's just yucky. But I'm going to Do-San until I puke and we'll confer with Master Stevens tomorrow, oh yes.

Finally, Find a Grave is rad. Luckily, I haven't died yet, I checked a few minutes ago. Ben Franklin has though. And Emily Dickinson. So cool. :-D
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03:28pm 16/09/2005
mood: cheerful
So I went with Leah, Leah's mom, Chandra, and Crystal (Chan's sister) last Sunday (I know :-p) to Hunger Artists Theater to see Hedwig and the Angry Inch. I love the theater, we went there for my birthday and saw Marat/Sade and it seems to really be just this core group of about twenty college kid actors. So there were a lot of familiar faces, and Leah and Chan, who are much more into that scene than I, knew most of them personally. But it's a great atmosphere and everyone's very sweet and fun to be around.

But the play. My god, the play. The actor who played Hedwig was brilliant and hir drag queen lover was fantastic and the band was fun (although if Mr. Electric Guitar had turned down the volume just a tad I would've been so much happier. Which makes me way uncool, I think.) Hedwig just rocked, hir personality is callous and scornful and bitter and somehow still likeable. And the sexy German accent. :-D The actor (Scott Westra, my program tells me) is perhaps the hottest female I've ever seen. :-p And the ending was just heart-breaking, I was sitting there, rapt, during it, biting my lip to keep from...I don't know. Something. It was very powerful and emotional. And now I have to acquire the soundtrack terribly badly.

It was lovely, though. I got in and about midnight and had to drag my sorry ass out of bed the next morning at half past six, but I couldn't bring myself to complain. Because it just. Mm. Love. :-D
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